Permission to Fail

It was not a pleasant Sunday afternoon. I spent the day at my daughter’s volleyball tournament. Watching them lose. Every. Single. Game.  The only upside was knowing we would be leaving early, getting home before dark.

Their first game they played the #1 team, a group of very talented and respectful players who won quickly in an “easy game”, according to one of the parents I overheard.

Humiliating. Embarrassing. Sad. Discouraging. All words that could describe that day for my daughter’s team.

They could also describe the struggle a writer friend of mine is currently having.  Embarrassed after having announced her book deal to the world, she now has to tell everyone it won’t happen.  Not because of anything she did. It fell through due to an unexpected merger of two publishing companies.

But if we define winning by only the games won or the books published, we miss out noticing the real victories.

I saw a losing team play as a TEAM. They didn’t turn on each other when one of them made a mistake. They patted each other’s backs, said its ok and returned to playing.   They worked together, encouraging each other. There was noticeable improvement from the first game to the last. One girl who barely moved in the first game to get to the ball was diving for them by the end of day. Instead of losing by several points in their last game, they scored 9 points in a row to come within one point of winning.

And when one of her teammates blocked a shot, aced a serve, or returned a volley when no one else thought they could, there was a celebration – hugs, cheers, and huge smiles. Real joy.

Despite all the points they scored, the girls on the #1 team never really smiled.  While they may have enjoyed their wins (who wouldn’t?); there was no joy on their faces. It was like they had no choice but to win. They didn’t have permission to fail.

It’s not the final score, not even the publishing contract, that we should focus on. Its the fact that despite the disappointment, the losses, the embarrassment, they keep trying.  My writer friend hasn’t given up. She has two other novels being considered by agents.  She’ll keep writing. And those girls, they won’t give up. They’ll practice. And one day they may win. Or they may not. They are still winners, regardless.

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The Unfinished Glass

I have been remiss.  I have allowed other responsibilities crowd into my writing time – work, grade school, divorce, kidney stones (not mine), more work.  I haven’t been writing.

This weekend came at the right time – two and a half days in Narragansett with my writing sisters to find my way back to writing, write, walk on the beach, find sea glass, and relax.  

Waking at 4:00am with a migraine and spending the next three hours praying to the porcelain gods was not part of the plan.

Thankfully, my sisters took care of me and didn’t kick me out – they only quarantined me to the downstairs bathroom on the chance it wasn’t because of the migraine.  I was feeling well enough by noon to go for a walk on the beach.

The writing was still not getting done, but at least I could find more pieces for my sea glass jewelry business*.  A successful search for sea glass requires a combination of intent, strategy, and luck – much like writing.

First, there’s intent, setting a positive mindset that allows you to see what others walk past without noticing – I will find the sea glass (the words).

There are places along the shoreline that have a greater chance of producing those small bursts of color gems.  You go where you know you will find them , those small rocky patches in between stretches of sand. It’s that place, like your writing space – that little cherished nook where you know the words will flow. Sometimes you need to just sit still and breathe, wait and clear away the thoughts that block your view (your flow).

Then, there is the guiding force of luck. Luck guided me towards this large blue piece, a rare find.  But it’s edges were still sharp and the bright blue had yet to turn into the mottled, frosted hue. I knew could take it home and tumble it myself, but that would be denying the process. It needs to simmer, like some stories, and tumble around some more before it’s ready. I tossed it back into the sea.

It takes time for the ocean (the writer) to take a shard of glass (an idea), toss it, tumble it, break it up (the writing) and transform it into a polished piece of sea glass (the published novel).

It takes thirty years for sea glass to properly form and about ten years for a novel. I’m only on year five, the process on-going. But not so much this weekend.

My generous, compassionate writing sisters allowed me to forego a specific writing goal this weekend – no word count, no set number of pages. However; they insisted I write at least a haiku:

4AM on knees
to porcelain gods I pray
gods have spoken: rest

 

 

*www.whimseacreations.etsy.com

our flaws, our strengths

“Do you grind them?”

www.WhimSeaCreations.etsy.com

The question threw me. It was my first craft show, first time selling my pieces of sea glass jewelry and she was a veteran. Was I doing something wrong?

Should I be grinding the sea glass? Smoothing out those rough spots, the dents, the imperfections? Would I sell more?

No.

Carved from the same tumbling sea forces, nature took what was discarded trash and created art. There are no two identical pieces of real sea glass.

The imperfections speak of their uniqueness, give them their beauty and strength.

Make them memorable.

Perfection has one grave defect: it is apt to be dull. W. Somerset Maugham

The same applies to the characters in the stories we love.

Would we have been so fascinated with Katniss if she weren’t so protective of the ones she loved?

Would we still be crying out “Oh, Mr. Darcy!” for another hundred years if he and Elizabeth did not let their pride keep them apart.

Flaws serve to add depth and conflict, establish empathy, and make the character more memorable. MJ Bush, WritinGeekery (www.writingeekery.com/flaw/).

I keep my sea glass just as I found them along the shoreline, flaws and all.  Those flaws inspire the design and I let them guide me into creating something beautiful and unique.

And as I revise (yet again) my middle grade novel, I am focusing on my own characters’ flaws and how their imperfections will shape and guide the story.

If only I could see my own flaws as my strength…

Pushing Boulders

I had the speech all prepared.  I walked into the conference room with my group of six fifth graders, ready to console them when the principal would turn down their request to go on a field trip to visit the Mark Twain House. I had already been told that morning it would be a “no”.

(marktwainhouse.org)

They call themselves the Mysterious Manning Society.  We started off with fourteen students, all interested in being part of a book club that met once a week during their lunch time.  I offered three choices of books based on their interests and we settled on The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.

When we first started reading the book, I mentioned that the author had lived in Hartford (less than a half-hour drive from the school) and his house was now a museum. We all agreed it would be cool to go visit at the time, but didn’t pursue the idea.

We are now down to six members who have persevered through fence painting, Tom and Becky’s engagement, Injun Joe, runaway pirates, and Tom attending his own funeral, stolen treasure, and courtroom drama. The idea of visiting the museum had morphed into more than just an idea.

I explained to them that it was an unusual request – a field trip for only six students.  We would have to persuade the teachers, the principal, the curriculum director, maybe even the Superintendent.  But why not try? My consolation speech already began taking form in my head.

I was going to tell them to think of themselves as a river – the water that flows downstream to a destination.  The principal and others were the boulders in the way. The water does not stop, it simply finds a way around the boulders.  We would not get to go on the field trip, but we could always pick a day during the summer and tour the house together.   It would be a life lesson, a teachable moment for handling disappointment.

I was the one who learned a lesson. In perseverance and persuasion.  See for yourself:

The Mysterious Manning’s Society’s Magnificent Mark Twain Adventure Presentation

How could anyone say no after that?

The field trip is booked.

The river didn’t go around the boulders.  It pushed the boulder aside.

Valentines for the Ugliest

 

Today I shared Pink is for Blobfish with students during library time.

There were “eews”, “gross” and “yucks”.

According the author Jess Keating, the Blowfish has been voted the #1 Ugliest Animal in the World.

The students didn’t think he (or she) would get any Valentines today – so they made their own.

These two are my favorites:

Aleya, 1st grade

 

 Marin, 5th grade

It was always my hope that young readers would learn about these strange creatures, and develop a caring attitude and empathy toward them. We share the earth with them, after all, and caring about them is the first step to sharing spaces and taking care of them. It was my hope that kids saw that the diversity of these creatures mattered, despite how weird and bizarre they are. – Jess Keating

They saw. Intermingled with the “eews” and “yucks” were “cools” and “wows” and “Can I have this book?”  I expect this book won’t be staying on the shelf too long.

Thank you Jess Keating and Kenny Brechner from DDG Booksellers who originally had the idea for the Valentine’s Day for Blobfish contest.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Celebrating Multicultural Children’s Book Day

Raising awareness for the kid’s books that celebrate diversity, and getting more of these of books into classrooms and libraries.

As an elementary school librarian, I am often asked by teachers and students for multicultural books; so I was pleased to have been offered the opportunity to review the following two books to celebrate Multicultural Children’s Book Day being held on January 27th.

Amina’ Voice by Hena Khan (to be released March 14, 2017)
Salaam Reads, Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing
Ages 8-12   ISBN 978-1-4814-9206-5

Amina is a twelve-year old Pakistani-American girl trying to find her place in middle school. A talented  singer, she lacks the courage to face the spotlight and show her real self to others.  In addition to the typical middle school dramas of changing friendships and gossip, Amina also questions if she is a proper Muslim after her traditional uncle visits from Pakistan.  After her local mosque is vandalized and the community rallies around to help, Amina finds her voice and overcomes her fear of sharing her gift with others.

Hena Khan seamlessly weaves the Pakistani and Muslim traditions into a heart-warming realistic story.  Given the current situations this country faces, this is the perfect book to show just how much alike we all really are despite our different religions and cultures.

I put this book on my To Buy List immediately after reading it.

Cry of the Sea by DG Driver
Fire and Ice, an imprint of Melange Books
Ages  13-17  ISBN 978-1-61235-786-7

Mermaids.  The mention on mermaids in the blurb and I immediately thought Fantasy. But this is no Fantasy. It is in fact a very realistic story of Juniper Sawfeather, a senior in high school whose parents are both well-known environmental activists. Their “tree hugger” status and her being half Chinook and ruins any chance of her winning the popularity contest. She plans to go to a college as far away from her parents as she can. When a tanker spills oil on a local beach, Juniper’s life dramatically changes when she finds three mermaids covered in oil. She, her parents, a good-looking college intern, and the popular clique from school become embroiled in a battle with the oil company to save the mermaids and the environment.

Regarding the multiculturalism in this book, I don’t think the Chinook heritage was fully developed within the story. While the characters had tribal origins, it seemed more of an added layer to the story, rather than an integral part.

DG Driver does offer an intriguing and fast-paced adventure in which the reader gets a realistic and timely portrayal of what could happen if a new species discovery impacted the oil industry.  In particular, how the media can easily distort the truth for either side.  I would recommend this book to any middle school or high school student interested in environmental thrillers.

Multicultural Children’s Book Day 2017 (1/27/17) is its fourth year and was founded by Valarie Budayr from Jump Into A Book and Mia Wenjen from PragmaticMom. Our mission is to raise awareness on the ongoing need to include kid’s books that celebrate diversity in home and school bookshelves while also working diligently to get more of these types of books into the hands of young readers, parents and educators.

Despite census data that shows 37% of the US population consists of people of color, only 10% of children’s books published have diversity content. Using the Multicultural Children’s Book Day holiday, the MCBD Team are on a mission to change all of that. This event has also proven to be an excellent way to compile a list of diverse children’s book titles and reviews for parents, grandparents, educators and librarians to use all year long.

Current Sponsors:  MCBD 2017 is honored to have some amazing Sponsors on board. Platinum Sponsors include Scholastic, Barefoot Books and Broccoli. Other Medallion Level Sponsors include heavy-hitters like Author Carole P. Roman, Audrey Press, Candlewick Press,  Fathers Incorporated, KidLitTV, Capstone Young Readers, Author Gayle Swift, Wisdom Tales Press, Lee& Low Books, The Pack-n-Go Girls, Live Oak Media, Author Charlotte Riggle, Chronicle Books and Pomello Books

Author Sponsor include: Karen Leggett Abouraya, Veronica Appleton, Susan Bernardo, Kathleen Burkinshaw, Maria Dismondy, D.G. Driver, Geoff Griffin,  Savannah Hendricks, Stephen Hodges, Carmen Bernier-Grand,Vahid Imani, Gwen Jackson,  Hena, Kahn, David Kelly, Mariana Llanos, Natasha Moulton-Levy, Teddy O’Malley, Stacy McAnulty,  Cerece Murphy, Miranda Paul, Annette Pimentel, Greg Ransom, Sandra Richards, Elsa Takaoka, Graciela Tiscareño-Sato,  Sarah Stevenson, Andrea Y. Wang

 

 

 

Great (not so great) Aunt Tillie – In Memoriam

My Great Aunt Tillie passed away last night at the age of 100 years.

Aunt Tillie (in red)

She was not the typical sweet, old little lady.

And thank the stars she wasn’t.

Quick-witted and cantankerous, she spoke and did as she pleased, without caring much for what other people thought.  At my cousin Kathy’s wedding, she mortified my grandmother by dancing with a plant atop her head. She went to church and Bingo every week, sometimes driving 80mph to get there on time.

I just had to write about her.  One of my novels-in-progress, tentatively titled “Rotten Tomatoes” has 13 year old Haley reluctantly moving in with her Great (not so great) Aunt Tillie:

Her garden takes up nearly a third of the backyard. Great (not so great) Aunt Tillie grows everything out here, but not everything gets to live.

She said she didn’t mean to hurt any of them. She just meant to scare them. Frighten them enough so they would stop. She never even aimed.

There were just so many of them. Running here and there, going in circles, like some crazy dance. It was all so confusing, she said.

If only the rabbits had enough sense to realize it was Great (not so great) Aunt Tillie’s garden, and not some other, normal person’s garden.

They had been sneaking into her garden and eating the “fruits” or rather “veggies” of her labor. For most people a fence would have been enough to keep the rabbits out. Great (not so great) Aunt Tillie is not most people.

One day she saw some boys in her neighborhood playing with paintball guns. And she got an idea.

She bought herself a paintball gun. The next day, she loaded it up with blue paint balls.

She claimed she never intended to hit the rabbits, just scare them. She didn’t point the gun at any one rabbit. But one particular rabbit was just not in the right place at the right time.

Aunt Tillie hit the poor rabbit with a blue paint pellet, dead on. Literally, dead on.

And what does one do with a dead, blue rabbit? Bury it? Hide it? Throw it in the neighbor’s yard?

Great (not so great) Aunt Tillie did none of these things.

Great (not so great) Aunt Tillie made blue rabbit stew.

Aunt Tillie didn’t really make rabbit stew.  Actually, she was very upset about killing that poor creature.  But we can’t help but laugh about it.  And about the many other stories we’ll all share in the coming days.

We joke that there’s an Aunt Tillie in every generation of our family. My brother has already deemed me heir.

I hope not to disappoint.